The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Two words: nipple clamps
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