Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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