Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Welp...herpes.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
