so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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