the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
dude. I can hear the air.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
