Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs

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(719): View more from Colorado

3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado

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(314): View more from Missouri

I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you

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(714): View more from California

Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?

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(518): View more from New York

I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.

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(214): View more from Texas

I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.

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