we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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