i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
