alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
