Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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