I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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