You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
