After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
