You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize