I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize