I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Blood and glitter go together right?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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