like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
