I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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