nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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