I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
barbara walters just said penis...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
