so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
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Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
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You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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