Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
