We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
