like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
