You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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