i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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