Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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