I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
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Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
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There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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