it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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