So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
