I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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