check it out our google latitudes are spooning
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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