I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
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He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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