Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Randomize
