here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
