Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
