Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
