It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
this is an emotional support booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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