Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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