Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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