Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying

(203): View more from Connecticut

but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome

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(860): View more from Connecticut

That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(574): View more from Indiana

should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...

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(703): View more from Virginia

I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies

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(425): View more from Washington

Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.

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