Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
They have beer where we have blood.