I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.