: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.