he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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