Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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