im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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