oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
