Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
