The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
