I can feel you judging me through the phone.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
