it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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