the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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