sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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