I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
