4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
