why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
