The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
