I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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