Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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