I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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