well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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